Live Support is our primary method of communicating with existing and prospective customers on the web. Customers get in touch to make enquiries, arrange orders or sometimes just drop in to tell us how great we are!
But on some days something very special happens. When the moon is perfectly aligned with Saturn and the Live Support Agent on-shift wishes really really hard, an un-witting scammer comes to chat, filled with hope and ambition of illegitimately extracting Gold from us. That’s when we like to have some fun…
You are now speaking with Dan of Sales
Derek jenson: Greetings, let me introduce myself. I am Derek Jenson, a Blizzard representative, and lawyer specializing in virtual property and virtual contracting. Sites like these are detrimental to our company and we can and will file claims against gold selling sites that do not cease operations. I am here today in order to clarify certain legalities, and hopefully come to an informal negotiation, in order to avoid long, expensive formalities.
Dan: Hi Derek
Derek jenson: Do you understand?
Dan: I…think so
Dan: I mostly just tend to the farm here
Derek jenson: You website breaks section 8 of rules and agreements
Dan: This is my first time away from the sheep, and working customer service.
Dan: What is section 8? I thought that was my housing plan?
Derek jenson: section 8 is in world of warcraft witch you had to agree to
Dan: I am a druid in WOW
Derek jenson: ok
Dan: I like flying my epic mount
Derek jenson: umm…
Dan: Can you tell me if it is true that they will have flying rhinos in the expansion?
Derek jenson: you do know this is a serious crime
Dan: Flying rhinos?
Derek jenson: no
Derek jenson: selling gold
Dan: My epic mount?
Derek jenson: and my son asked the same thing
Dan: Oh selling gold?
Derek jenson: yes
Dan: About the flying rhinos?
Dan: Does he buy gold?
Derek jenson: yes
Dan: Oh really?
Dan: cool
Dan: He can have an epic flying rhino then
Dan: So now what is section 8?
Derek jenson: i
Dan: I know my landlord takes it
Derek jenson: wait typo
Dan: Its okay my fingers get a little happy too
Dan: What is section 8?
Derek jenson: “You may not purchase, sell, gift or trade any Account, or offer to purchase, sell, gift or trade any Account, and any such attempt shall be null and void. Blizzard owns, has licensed, or otherwise has rights to all of the content that appears in the Program. You agree that you have no right or title in or to any such content, including the virtual goods or currency appearing or originating in the Game, or any other attributes associated with the Account or stored on the Service. Blizzard does not recognize any virtual property transfers executed outside of the Game or the purported sale, gift or trade in the “real world” of anything related to the Game. Accordingly, you may not sell items for “real” money or otherwise exchange items for value outside of the Game.”
Dan: Are you a creditor looking for me?
Derek jenson: no we decided not to sue
Derek jenson: though i think i should speak to your boss
Dan: I’ll pay the debt! I just need to harvest the wool from my sheep.
Derek jenson: ok
Dan: My shears are broken and my brother cut his thumb off
Dan: the medical bills are awful and now all he has is a stub
Derek jenson: um we dont want money
Dan: What do you want? My apartment?
Dan: My sheep?
Derek jenson: no
Dan: The Milk Bucket?
Derek jenson: no
Dan: I don’t have much else.
Derek jenson: we want to stable our enconmy in wow
Derek jenson: we want gold becase of contest transfers
Dan: Well, I suppose I could Sell my epic snail
Dan: He’s not fast, but a rare in the game
Dan: We could ride around together if you’d like
Dan: ?
Dan: What can I do to help?
Derek jenson: we will never bother your company again
Dan: I am very interested in a stable
Dan: My horse is sad
Dan: he needs a stable
Dan: Never again?
Derek jenson: nope
Dan: Is this because of the epic snail or my brothers thumb?
Derek jenson: i will tell you how and how much
Derek jenson: the wow gold
Dan: For my snail or my brother’s thumb?
Dan: OH
Dan: I’m sorry I bumped my head earlier
Derek jenson: The surplus has come to 15, 456 gold
Dan: Popped the trunk of my pick - up truck and it knocked me silly
Dan: Can’t pronounce many of the PH sounds
Dan: Or J’s
Dan: I am having serious J issues.
Derek jenson: yeara(us)alliance-side is suffering
Derek jenson: that amount will save the sever
Dan: They come out in series of JJJJJJJJ
Dan: Which server is suffering?
Derek jenson: yesra
Dan: Oh
Dan: I did hear about that
Derek jenson: our currnecy holder Gravex wishes to be sent the money so he can put it in the market place
Derek jenson: this is a once in a life time deal
Dan: The economy is broken, the people are taking to the streets with pitch forks, clubs, and torches.
Dan: Did they hang any wayward merchants.
Derek jenson: this is very serious
Dan: Wrong time wrong place
Dan: Derek I am very serious
Dan: I am concerned about the merchants.
Dan: I heard there were executions in the streets?
Dan: Mobs of druids and
Dan: Orks
Dan: Very sad times
Derek jenson: look are you going to send the gold or not?
Derek jenson: becase the clam is $278,000
Dan: We could start a morning breakfast program for the children
Derek jenson: in court
Dan: Soup kitchen might help
Dan: I will personally donate the milk I gather from the cows.
Derek jenson: yes or no sir?
Dan: Look do you want my milk?
Dan: I am trying to help
Dan: I have a depressed cow to tend to. I could churn butter
Dan: I make some good butter
Dan: Is this really Derek or a creditor?
Dan: Derek my head hurts
Derek jenson: yes this is derek
Dan: I think my eye is starting to discharge a greenish fluid.
Dan: is that unhealthy?
Dan: Do you have a medical background?
Derek jenson: that is personal
Derek jenson: i tryed to help
Dan: seriously the fluid is pouring out now onto my bagel
Dan: my eye?
Dan: I can’t hardly see
Dan: What is it you want me to do?
Derek jenson: are you going to pay the cash or the gold sir?
Dan: What ?
Dan: What gold?
Dan: What Cash?
Dan: I thought we agreed on milk and butter?
Dan: I could toss in my epic flying cow
Dan: he does gnaw on things a lot.
Dan: Just prop up a salt lick and he will be fine
Dan: Derek, seriously my eye is leaking
Derek jenson: read what i say ok
Derek jenson: 15,456 gold or $278,000
Derek jenson: witcch one sir?
Derek jenson: we will see you in court
Derek jenson: becase im trying to help you
Derek jenson: are you still there dan?
Dan: I am
Dan: I’m wiping the goo off my bagel
Dan: Perhaps we can meet in person and I can give you the goods
Dan: where do you live?
Dan: Oh wait I have the info coming in from our security system.
Dan: Great
Dan: IP is detailed
Derek jenson: and?
Dan: this new protection is great
Dan: Will you accept 278,000 in milk and butter?
Derek jenson: are you going to send the gold or the money
Derek jenson: we do not accept milk and butter
Dan: One sec I have to see a bout the cash
Derek jenson: fine
Derek jenson: You also agreed to “You may not purchase, sell, gift or trade any Account, or offer to purchase, sell, gift or trade any Account, and any such attempt shall be null and void. Blizzard owns, has licensed, or otherwise has rights to all of the content that appears in the Program.”
Dan: What program?
Derek jenson: world of warcraft
Dan: Are you still talking about WOW?
Dan: Oh
Dan: I thought we were working on a deal
Dan: Okay so can you meet me in person
Derek jenson: for wow
Dan: I’ll wear a yellow hat and there will be a monkey with me.
Derek jenson: are you going to give the WoW gold to our yesra(us)alliance-side currency holder Gravex?
Dan: Gravex
Dan: is he a blizzard agent?
Derek jenson: yes a gm
Dan: whats a gm
Derek jenson: Gamemaster
Dan: is that a species of gnome?
Dan: OF
Dan: Oh
Dan: He’s good at the game
Derek jenson: they work for blizzard
Dan: For such a large transaction I would rather just give cash
Derek jenson: he just started
Dan: Can we meet
Dan: Is he in game now?
Derek jenson: no but i can get him to
Dan: Okay
Dan: in front of the mailbox?
Derek jenson: where would you like to meet him?
Derek jenson: stormwind?
Dan: I don’t want to get in trouble…who will feed the monkey?
Dan: Is that where you would like to meet?
Dan: Is that the server that is in trouble?
Derek jenson: i will get him to meet you in front of the mail box in stormwind
Derek jenson: yes
Derek jenson: the gold will save the alliance side sever
Dan: I want to save horde too
Derek jenson: and your site will have immunty from any ban,prison,payment.etc
Dan: PRISON!
Derek jenson: horde is doing fine
Dan: that would be no fun
Derek jenson: i know
Dan: Of course with my farming skills I’m sure I could make a mean cheese wheel
Dan: and everyone would be happy
Dan: Can you imagine all those frowns?
Dan: in glee over the cheese
Derek jenson: he is going to meet you now
Dan: we could write a musical and sing and dance around the wheels of cheese
Dan: I would be Mr. popular in no time
Derek jenson: no
Dan: I lok good in stripes too.
Derek jenson: just give him the gold please
Dan: Okay what character server and side
Derek jenson: Gravex ysera alliance
Dan: Okay it will be about an hour
Dan: and you won’t send me to prison right?
Derek jenson: no
Dan: Can you help me get a flying rhino?
Dan: With 3 horns and boots?
Derek jenson: i will talk to tech guy
Dan: excellent!
Derek jenson: i dont even know if it is real
Dan: Okay Derek and you are sure you would rather not have butter and milk?
Derek jenson: no we are sure
Derek jenson: take care
Dan: Okay I will see you soon
Dan: Our character is sadshoehorn
Dan: let me fix my eye and eat this bagel get my yellow hat and monkey and i’ll be on the way.
Dan: Is there anything else I can do for you?
Dan: Okay
Dan: I’ll be there ASAP
Dan: Thank you for visiting MOGS.com
